Remembering the Departed

Pacer awoke with a start.

He blinked and began to roll on to his back but his body met resistance. Then he remembered that last night they settled down early for the night after an uneventful evening of silence, sore muscles and tending to wounds. Wyatt had fallen asleep first tucked away in a partial alcove amongst the debris of the shell of the ruined building. Before Pacer had found sleep the wind outside had shifted and the temperature dropped a few degrees. When he was finally ready for sleep he had laid out beside the other boy back to back in case body heat would come into play before morning. 

He was right. 

His body spasmed with shivers every couple of minutes now that he was conscious. He looked over at the other boy and saw that he was loosely curled up facing him. By the looks of the sky peaking through the crumbling walls it was still hours before sunrise. 

Weighing his options, he knew that the next day was likely to be a long one—who knows what was going to happen. He did to like the idea of being saddled with this stranger, but he wasn’t just going to ditch him either. 

Pacer looked over at Wyatt in the near dark. It was difficult to distinguish his features but his overall form was silhouetted by shadows. Absently, he stretched out and folded his arms behind his head and thought about the few things they did talk about and questions rose up from the depths of his groggy mind. He mulled over the unknown answers for awhile and soon he was planning out the morning and opportunities to strike up conversation. 

Suddenly, Wyatt shifted. Pacer froze and stayed quiet, his heart had jumped. Then the blonde youth rolled over lazily right into Pacer, paused a moment, mumbling something unintelligible, and settled down with and arm draped over Pacer’s chest. Wyatt’s knee had unceremoniously collided into his inner thigh. His head came to a rest in Pacer’s armpit with the boys forehead pressed into his cheek. 

Shit! Now what? He thought to himself. 

His first reaction was to shrug off the sleeping form, but he didn’t want to wake him up which would add to the awkwardness. Also, after a minute or so it was obvious how much warmth he felt from the contact. As he relaxed and loosened up his body he eventually lowered his arms again to and gently shifted his position to be more comfortable. 

He managed to find sleep again with Wyatt nestled up against him in his arms. 

The next thing he remembered was the sound of Wyatt stumbling nearby. Pacer sat up and wiped his eyes to gauge the situation. 

It was morning. 

“Sorry!” Wyatt whispered loudly. 

Daylight spilled in from the crackers and crevices around them and streams of light told Pacer the sun was still low in the sky. 

“I was just heading out to go pee.” Wyatt was mid stride over some rubble that partially obscured the way out. 

“Hold up! I’ll go too.” 

He did not absolutely have to urinate in the moment, but was confident that his bladder would appreciate the opportunity once he got moving. It was a good idea to take a good look around for signs of the wanderers and to get out of the stuffy and musty confines of the holdout. 

Pacer followed Wyatt through the tangle of metal and concrete that they had used to enter the night before. The younger boy was fumbling a little too much for Pacer’s liking and he was wary about the noise, just in case someone was nearby. 

“Hey,” Pacer tapped the leg in font of him. “Let me go first, ok? I’ll make sure it’s clear.”

Wyatt braced himself and positioned himself off to the side enough to let Pacer through. It was tight, but being a smaller build, Pacer managed to worm his way passed the teen. Once in the lead he carefully climbed out of the hole that was all but hidden from plain sight. There were some clouds overhead, but otherwise a clear sky with the golden morning sun spilling over the landscape from the east. 

“I need to go now!” Wyatt voice was almost shrill. 

Pacer took a second to listen and glance around before giving the ok. Wyatt scrambled out of the hole and went no more than two strides before he groaned. Pacer could hear the hot stream hit the ground for a solid minute as he scouted around further. 

He relieved himself shortly after, once he was sure there was no sign of any other disturbances. 

“I almost pissed myself, haha—” Wyatt was coming around and paused when he noticed Pacer hadn’t finished. “Sorry.”

“Why apologize? We both have dicks. Everyone pisses. It’s natural.” Pacer glanced over his shoulder and saw that Wyatt was half turned away and in the morning sun seemed to be blushing. Tucking himself back into his pants he turned and closed the distance between them. 

“I—I didn’t want to… you know. I want to respect your privacy.” Wyatt offered. 

“Privacy?” Pacer studied the taller boy, trying to suss out something in his furtiveness. “If it wasn’t for the wanderers, we’d have all the privacy in the world here. In fact, we both could be standing here naked and no one would ever know.”

Wyatt’s blue eyes widen in shock and locked onto Pacer’s for a brief moment. The sunlight shone into them at such an angle and Pacer could see a detailed relief of his iris. The sight dazzled him in that moment before Wyatt turned away in confusion. 

“I knew it!” Pacer declared watching the younger boy shy away. “Hey I don’t care if you like boys. I don’t have a problem with it. I mean if I did I wouldn’t have let you cuddle up to me last night.”

“What?” Wyatt was definitely blushing now.

“If anything, I was using you for warmth. It got chilly last night and you kept me warm. No. Big. Deal.” Pacer reached up and rested a hand in the other’s shoulder.  Wyatt glanced at the hand and then at Pacer. 

“I’m serious, Wyatt. I don’t even care if you think I’m attractive. I have a girlfriend anyways. And if we’re going to be stuck with each other for awhile, at least until we’re both sure we can return safely, then we need to be open and trusting.”

Wyatt stood there silently soaking in the words. It looked like he wanted to respond but the words just didn’t come out.

“Besides, if the worse thing I have to worry about is you trying to take advantage of me during the night, then I’ll take it as a compliment—and I’ll probably still have a good night sleep afterwards at least!”

Pacer laughed and patted Wyatt’s shoulder. The boy smiled and chuckled as well and seemed to relax a bit.

“Oh shit!” Wyatt checked his pocket for his little friend. “Did you see the kitten anywhere?”

“No,” Pacer didn’t even remember seeing or hearing the little creature even last night. 

“We have to find it!” Wyatt pleaded, full of concern.

“Ok, let’s check back inside.” 

They crawled back through the narrow passage and Wyatt immediately started searching frantically around where they had slept. Pacer stood back and glanced around to see if he could spot it anywhere else. 

“You didn’t see it last night did you?”

“Honestly, I had forgotten about it until you remembered. I’m sure it just wandered off looking for food or water.”

“But where?” Wyatt’s voice echoed within the space. Just then a little squeak of a noise came from behind Pacer. He twisted around and saw the tiny feline tumble out from under some debris in the corner. He reached down and scooped up the furry thing and held it up in between him and Wyatt. 

“It’s such a cute little thing!” Pacer held it gently with both hands as it mewed, brushing off some dirt it had picked up. He tried to mimic the sound as Wyatt scowled at him.

“Can you give her back?”

“Can you tell me why you have such a small kitten in the middle of nowhere?” Pacer lowered himself down and sat cross-legged, cradling the tiny beast in both hands. It was meowing repeatedly now. “I think it’s hungry or something.”

Wyatt grabbed his backpack and dug around in one of the bigger pockets. He pulled out something wrapped up in paper. He unfolded it and revealed a chunk of jerky. 

“Don’t worry, it’s lightly seasoned. I don’t like the spicy stuff that much.” He tore off a few small pieces and worked them with his fingertips to soften them up. Then he knelt down and offered them in an open palm to the kitten still held by Pacer. The little fireball sniffed and licked the bits of meat and soon enough began to eat them. 

Then it began to purr. Loudly. 

They each looked up at each other grinning. 

“He’s cute.” Pacer stated. 

“I think it’s a girl.” Wyatt watched the little thing chomp on the last remaining bits of jerky. 

“Do you have a name yet?” Pacer asked the kitten more so than Wyatt, who leaned back pensively and wiped his hands clean of residual jerky. His gaze shifted from Pacer to the kitten and back again. 

“Yeah I should choose a name, shouldn’t I? But I don’t know…”

“Hey, how did you find this little fiend anyways?”

Wyatt recounted the scenario, one which only happened two days ago. He had woken up early in the morning to the sounds of a disturbance nearby. He had camped out near one of the last remaining hudderite colonies and he was wary of even doing so. As it turned out, someone must have left a small litter of kittens near where he was sleeping in the hopes that he would wake up and take care of them. At least that was his guess. However, when he discovered the kittens it wasn’t a pleasant sight—a feral dog had happened upon the basket the kittens had been left in. 

“Are you serious?” Pacer looked shocked. 

“I didn’t even know they were kittens at first. I just saw something small hanging from its mouth and I instantly yelled at it and scared it away.”

“Shit!” Pacer was aghast. 

“It got spooked but only ran off a few meters. I grabbed a broken tree branch and started to chase it off. Once it was off running for good I turned back a realized what was in the basket.”

Wyatt paused and bit his lips. His chin was quivering and his eyes were tearing up. He watched the little thing in Pacer’s hands and let out a long sigh. 

“I saw pieces of the other kittens. I thought they were all dead but then this one moved!” Wyatt scooped up the kitten and held it close as he wept. 

“You saved its life.” Pacer simply said, his sense of empathy was revealing a growing respect for the boy. Other than those words he didn’t know what else to do to comfort Wyatt who avoided eye contact and focused on the kitten. Eventually, Pacer placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Wyatt managed. 

“Don’t apologize! I can’t imagine what I would have done in that scenario. Thank you for telling me.”

Wyatt nodded and Pacer let go of his shoulder glancing up through the cracks in the wall to the sky beyond. 

“We should head out soon.” 

“Yeah.”